


EVE: Exceptionally Villainous Entity

by LoneWulffe



Series: Rounded with a Sleep [3]
Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alien Cultural Differences, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Complicated Relationships, Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff, Humor, Sexual Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-12
Updated: 2019-06-12
Packaged: 2020-05-02 02:24:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,661
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19190023
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LoneWulffe/pseuds/LoneWulffe
Summary: [Companion fic to the Paradise in a Dream series]Kara has (finally!) had sex. Mind-blowing, out-of-this-world (literally) sex, if all the smiling and giggling is any indication.Eve is determined to get every last bit of information she can about the momentous occasion if it's the last thing she does.As Kara learns much to her dismay, who needs an arch-nemesis when you have a best friend like Eve?





	EVE: Exceptionally Villainous Entity

**Author's Note:**

> As requested, here is Eve's turn in the spotlight for what could only be considered the most Eve reason possible.
> 
> One of these days, my guilt over the suffering I inflict upon Kara via Eve will actually stop me from doing it any more... but today is apparently not that day. (cackles evilly with Eve)
> 
> Oh, and in case it wasn't clear, this is set between Chapters 18 and 19 of A Tourist in the Waking World.

“ _I can be on guard against my enemies, but God deliver me from my friends!” – Charlotte Brontë, The Letters of Charlotte Brontë_

 

* * *

 

Eve was a smart girl.

A lot of people, she learned over the years as she grew up, never assumed that of her and always seemed surprised when she said or did something that set them straight.

It was her generally sunny disposition, she ultimately decided – that and the fact that she loved pretty clothes, make-up and all the other things that ditzy girls typically liked. (As if that was any kind of a basis to judge someone.) Or, if she really wanted to go to the heart of the matter, the frankly irritating dumb blonde stereotype that was probably going to outlive even the human race itself.

Not that she let it get to her, of course; her parents had raised her to be a confident individual who never felt like she had to prove anything to anyone except herself. She did well in her studies, had a sensible head on her shoulders – Valerie took credit for that – and was so tenacious she eventually succeeded at solving any issue she couldn't figure out at the first try.

(The incident with Ross had robbed her of some of that confidence but she had managed to recover it over time thanks to Kara's help on more than one level.)

In short, she was used to being underestimated.

Unfortunately for her – or maybe not –, Kara somehow still fell into that category despite all the years they had known each other.

She honestly couldn't decide if that amused or annoyed her.

After all, she had made the girl talk about every single major event in her relationship with Mon-El thus far so there was no reason to think that the same thing wouldn't happen this time.

Especially when this latest development was the one that Eve had been waiting for for ages. _Literally_.

Kara had finally overcome all her hang-ups about physical intimacy – whether it was something to do with her culture or just a Kara thing was unclear – and gotten laid. And to top things off, it had evidently been one _hell_ of a night for her.

If Eve had the money to spare, she'd have thrown a parade complete with floats, elephants and a nice jazz band all the way from New Orleans just because.

But since she was not a multimillionaire with zero sense and absolutely no respect for the secret nature of the thing she wanted to celebrate, she was going to settle for a nice party for two where she was going to get completely smashed while prying every last dirty detail about this momentous occasion out of Kara.

...That is, if she could actually get a hold of Kara in the first place.

The last time she had ever seen her best friend, said best friend had fled the apartment with a truly epic door slam. Eve had decided at that point to let it slide instead of chasing her down; Kara could use a moment to cool down which would hopefully loosen her (admittedly uptight) tongue somewhat. Besides, she couldn't stay away from the apartment forever so it was only a matter of time before Eve got her prey right where she wanted.

With that in mind, she had written her little friendly note and taped it to Kara's room door before continuing with her day like normal.

Night came. To Eve's mild surprise, Kara was already locked away inside her room when she returned, most likely fast asleep and hopefully making up for lost time by climbing Mon-El like a tree. She frowned at the locked door standing in her way and resisted the urge to wake her best friend up just to interrogate her.

Oh well. There was always tomorrow morning.

Except by the time Eve woke up, Kara was already gone.

And even though Eve managed to eventually get her hands on Kara's schedule, she never managed to corner the girl on campus no matter how hard she tried.

This went on for a whole week.

In retrospect, Eve thought she could be commended for lasting so long before she snapped.

_Fine_ , she thought to herself as she began formulating a plot that would make Kara regret her decision to avoid a fate she should have known was inevitable, _I guess we're just going to have to do this the hard way._

(That very moment, Kara felt a chill run down her spine but didn't manage to figure out why until it was much too late.)

So she plotted and bided her time until she was sure that her plan would go off without a hitch.

One key phone call to Jordan later, she bundled herself up on the couch and pretended to sleep. (In nature documentaries, this would be the part where the deep-voiced narrator talked about unsuspecting prey falling into deadly traps. At least, that was how Kara chose to describe it later after having unwittingly and unwillingly played the part of said prey.)

After approximately ten minutes, the sound of keys jingling reached Eve's ears followed by a soft squeak as the front door swung open. _Gotcha_ , she thought triumphantly to herself but remained still. She needed her prey to come closer if her plan was to work.

“...Eve?” she heard Kara call out very softly, accompanied by the sound of the door being shut and locked. “Are you okay?”

Under the cover of her blanket, Eve smirked evilly to herself. _Never better._

A period of silence ensued, and Eve had to strain a little to hear Kara's extremely careful and soft footfalls as she approached the couch. “Eve?”

_Closer, closer..._

More silence... and then there was a gentle touch on Eve's shoulder.

_Got you._ Eve opened her eyes to find Kara staring at her in complete surprise and lifted her head just enough that her best friend could see the admittedly sadistic grin on her face. “Hello, Kara. Long time no see.”

A noise that could best be described as 'hurk' escaped Kara as she continued staring unblinkingly at Eve, her hand still outstretched and her whole body frozen as if she had magically been turned to stone.

“Why don't you sit down?” Despite Eve's sweet tone, it was very obviously not a suggestion. “We have _so_ much to talk about.”

Kara gurgled and twitched as if to run away.

“Oh, don't even think about it.” In a heartbeat, Eve's sinister smile was replaced with an expression that promised divine retribution if she was disobeyed. “If you take even one step in the direction of the front door instead of the seat behind you, I promise I'll make you regret it for a _very_ long time.”

Fear was evident in Kara's eyes and posture, and for a moment it looked like she was contemplating trying her luck but then she finally backed up very slowly and all but dropped herself onto the seat facing Eve. “You _tricked_ me.” The accusatory tone in her voice was matched with an expression that was part disbelief and part betrayal. “I can't believe you had Jordan call me and _lie_ to me that you were really sick just to lure me back here.”

“You're just upset that you fell for it,” Eve countered evenly as she pulled away the blanket she had been using as her 'disguise' and began folding it.

That caused Kara to glower a little. “The next time you actually fall sick for real, you can forget about me worrying about you even a little.”

Eve scoffed and rolled her eyes as she set the now neatly folded blanket aside. “Oh please. You're too much of a goody two-shoes to do that. Besides, I'm your best friend – not counting your dream boyfriend, of course – so we both know you'd come running immediately whenever I'm in even the slightest bit of trouble.”

Kara chose not to respond to that although she did curl into herself a little and mutter something Eve couldn't make out under her breath.

“Sorry, what was that?” Eve asked.

At that, Kara looked up somewhat defiantly although Eve could easily pick up on her best friend's false bravado. “Just because I'm here doesn't mean you'll be able to get me to talk.”

The sadistic grin from earlier returned, and Eve drew a great deal of dark satisfaction from watching the way Kara's facade of bravery vanished like ether the moment she took in Eve's expression. “Oh, Kara, Kara... Did you really think I was making empty threats earlier? We're supposed to be best friends; you really should know me better by now.” She reached out and tapped the thin folder that had been lying unnoticed on the coffee table. “Why don't you have a look at what's inside this?”

Curiosity and dread played across Kara's face like a great theatre production as she reluctantly reached out a hand and picked up the folder like it was a canister of the universe's deadliest plague. For a long while, she just sat there staring at the item in her hands as she very obviously debated how bad its contents were going to be before drawing in a deep breath and flipping it open.

Her expression became one of extreme bafflement.

“...Eve, what's this?” Kara asked slowly as she lifted her head to meet Eve's gaze again.

“I am _so_ glad you asked.” Eve leaned back and clasped her hands primly over her lap, unwittingly mimicking a classic supervillain pose. (Not that she would have minded if she had known.) “Those-” she nodded at the pieces of paper in Kara's hands, “-are your dating profiles.”

Kara froze, her eyes wide as saucers. “ _My WHAT?_ ”

“Dating profiles,” Eve repeated calmly. “For some of the most popular dating websites and a few other more... interesting... ones.”

“Wait- I- Why- What-” If Eve concentrated, she thought she might be able to hear Kara's genius alien brain short-circuiting.

“They're not up yet, of course, but they will be if you don't answer my questions.” A theatrical sigh escaped Eve. “Then you'll have to field call after call and message after message from every single guy that sees them and explain your way out of all of them. And you should know that there will be a _lot_ of them. After all, you may not realise it since Mon-El is the only guy who's ever registered on your radar but you get a lot of attention, Kara, and god only knows how many times I've had to run interference on your behalf since we started university life.”

“B-But- No, wait-” Still sputtering, Kara kept looking up and down as she shuffled through all the profiles in her hand. “Th-These can't be real! I mean, look at this one!” she cried as she lifted one in particular. “It has all these nonsense words and phrases that sound like complete gibberish!”

“Oh, those are sexual positions and sex toys,” Eve explained offhandedly, causing Kara to snap her head up while wearing a look of undisguised horror. “Some of the _really_ kinky ones too.”

If not for the gurgling, it would have been easy to mistake Kara for a very lifelike wax figure.

“But like I said, they'll only go up if you don't tell me everything I want to know about that night,” Eve reminded Kara as she plucked the papers out of her best friend's nerveless fingers. “So... Now that you know what's really at stake, don't you want to just get it over with?”

For a long while, Kara just kept staring unseeingly in Eve's direction to the point that Eve contemplated reaching over to check if she was still alive. Just as she was about to do just that, however, Kara blinked slowly and her statue-like expression shifted into one of resigned misery. “...Fine,” she muttered through gritted teeth as she curled into herself in a blatantly defensive position. “Ask your questions.”

“Excellent.” Eve leaned forward, her manic grin somehow even more pronounced than before. “Now... We'll start with the most basic one: From a scale of one to ten-”

“Ten,” Kara cut her off as she began blushing furiously.

One of Eve's eyebrows arched and her grin turned a touch amused. “You didn't even hesitate. That good, huh?”

Instead of answering, Kara just fidgeted and looked away.

“You know I'm naturally going to follow up by asking why he rates a ten in bed, don't you?” Eve pointed out gleefully.

That got Kara to turn back to face Eve so quickly the action might have created an audible crack. “ _Wh-What?_ ”

“Go on, spill.” Eve resisted the urge to steeple her hands. “I want to hear _all_ about it.”

Kara stiffened, but this time there was a touch of something like defensiveness in her gaze and posture that bordered on outright hostility. “...I'd rather not.”

That gave Eve pause. It seemed she had stumbled across a sensitive topic unwittingly and if she tried to push the issue, there was a strong possibility that Kara would get genuinely upset – maybe even outright furious – at her instead of just being embarrassed. Best to back off a little. “Come on, Kara,” she wheedled, careful to inject some playful lightness into her tone. “Just one teensy little detail? I mean, we both know I'm never going to have the chance to even kiss a prince of a country, much less an entire planet, so let me have this? _Please?_ ”

Thankfully, the steely edge in Kara's eyes faded and her posture loosened almost imperceptibly as she turned away, her cheeks almost glowing again. The transformation back to embarrassed best friend was so smooth that Eve was tempted to believe that she had imagined the whole thing. “H-He's... um...” She fidgeted and stared very pointedly at a random spot on the wall. “He's... good with his hands.”

“Oh really?” The urge to start cackling was overwhelming. “How good?”

An embarrassed whine escaped Kara as she covered her bright red face with her hands. “J-Just... really good, okay?” came the muffled answer.

This time, Eve did not stop herself from cackling out loud. “Okay, next question: How big is he?”

The look on Kara's face when she dropped her hands was a mixture of flabbergasted and mortified. “I- What- Do you humans actually bring _rulers_ when you have sex or something?!”

“If it fits the kink, why not?” Eve responded blithely, ignoring the way that just made Kara sputter very loudly. “Okay, how about this then?” She held her hands up with her palms pointed towards each other. “Give me a rough estimate.”

Once again, Kara was reduced to a gurgling mess but Eve conveniently took that as a sign of agreement and slowly widened the gap between her hands.

Silence.

Eve raised an eyebrow and widened the gap again.

More silence.

The other eyebrow joined its partner as Eve continued.

She only stopped when Kara's blush reached a new level of intensity and her gaze darted to the side.

Eve looked down at her hands and let out an impressed whistle. “You _lucky_ girl.”

Somehow, Kara managed to blush even harder. “No comment,” she mumbled somewhat defiantly although it failed to have the effect she clearly intended.

“No need for one,” was Eve's fiendish reply as she dropped her hands back down on her lap. “Now let's see... What else...”

“Haven't you gotten enough information already?” Kara whined miserably as she pulled her knees up and hid her face behind them.

“Oh please, I'm already going easy on you so you should be grateful.” Muffled grumbling was the only response she got but Eve decided all the same that maybe she had made Kara suffer enough. For now, at least. There were going to be a _lot_ more opportunities to needle her best friend about her sex life which promised to be _very_ active from this point onwards. “Okay, fine. One last question and I'll let you go, I promise.”

Ever so slowly, Kara raised her head to squint suspiciously at Eve. “...What is it?”

A sly grin curved Eve's lips. “How many times that first night?”

Kara blanched before turning bright red and hiding her face behind her knees again. “...I-I can't answer that,” she mumbled.

Smelling blood in the water, Eve leaned in with a predatory glint in her eyes. “And why is that?”

Dead silence. Kara didn't so much as twitch.

“Kara, if you don't answer in the next five seconds-”

“ _Because I stopped counting after three, okay?_ ” Kara blurted out in a rush before freezing and curling into an even tighter ball than before, all the while emitting a high-pitched whine.

The cackle that escaped Eve was worthy of a Disney supervillain. “Now I really regret saying that I was only going to ask one more question.”

At that, Kara jerked upright to stare at Eve with dismayed dread. “You promised,” she whispered, her voice full of despair.

Eve let out a theatrically regretful sigh as she raised her hands in surrender. “Okay, okay. I'll stop.” Then she regarded Kara with a genuine smile. “You know I'm happy for you, right?”

“You sure have a funny way of showing it,” Kara muttered in a somewhat accusatory and bitter tone.

Okay, maybe she deserved that. “Wanting you to have a fantastic sex life is just one of the best friend duties I take very seriously,” Eve answered primly.

Kara just rolled her eyes. “Thanks, I guess,” she replied sarcastically.

“Well, this naturally calls for a celebration,” Eve announced cheerfully as she clapped her hands decisively. “It's a good thing I've stocked up the fridge with wine for me, club soda for you and tons of ice cream for both of us to share.”

As usual, the offer of edible bribes got Kara to loosen up and lower her guard. “...I wouldn't mind that.”

“Excellent.” Eve kept her benign smile firmly in place as she continued. “And while we're celebrating, I can tell you more about those sexual positions-”

“ _NO THANK YOU!_ ”

 

* * *

 

“He- Oof.”

Mon-El wheezed when his greeting was interrupted by Kara all but throwing herself at him and burying her face into his chest as her arms wrapped tightly around him.

“Kara?” Understandably alarmed, he did his best to hug her back despite the fact that she had pinned his arms to his sides. “What happened?”

Naturally, her response was muffled and indecipherable since her face was still planted firmly in his chest.

“...Is there any chance you could repeat that in a language I _do_ understand?”

She pulled away then, and he was confronted with the sight of her bright red face and an expression that was a cross between livid and mortified. “She made me tell her.”

The urge to establish their mental connection in an effort to soothe her clearly turbulent state of mind continued to rise but he tamped it down for just a little longer. “...And this 'she' would be...?”

“Eve,” came the curt reply.

...For some reason, he felt like he was expected to comprehend the entire situation with just that answer. Since he was incapable of reading her mind, however, he was forced to ask a follow-up question. “Okay... and she made you tell her about...?”

“Us.” When she realised that he was still staring at her rather confusedly – after all, hadn't Eve already known about the two of them for years? –, her blush darkened another shade and she practically spit out the next word that came out of her mouth. “M-Mating.”

Ah. “I see,” he said neutrally even though he didn't.

It must have shown on his face – that, or it was the simple fact that she knew him that well – because she looked at him rather strangely as her blush began to fade. “What?”

“What?” he echoed for lack of anything else to say.

“You...” Once again, she was struggling to speak... although he got the unsettling sense that it was for an entirely different reason this time. “You're okay with her knowing?”

“Well, I mean...” Twitchy from the unexpectedly tense atmosphere surrounding them, he raised a hand and scratched the back of his head if only to try and keep himself occupied. “It's Eve, after all. Besides, it was pretty commonplace on Daxam for people to throw parties to commemorate occasions like this especially if they had the resources. I would've probably arranged for a parade myself, to be honest.”

The moment the last word left his lips, he got the feeling that he had said something wrong because the hurt in her eyes was unmistakable and the tense way she was holding herself indicated she was about to start yelling at him at the very least. To his surprise, however, she closed her eyes, drew a deep breath and did her best to sound calm when she finally spoke again. “Can you tell me why?”

“I...” Guilt and shame filled him even though he couldn't quite understand why, causing him to lower both his gaze and his hand. “It is an unparalleled honour to be asked by someone like you to share your bed – even more so to be the one to have that honour exclusively. In my culture, to not make that information known to others in such a grand fashion would imply that I was somehow ashamed of having received that honour.” Suddenly deathly afraid that he had caused irreparable damage to their relationship without realising it, he jerked his head up again to meet her distressingly unreadable gaze with his desperate one. “Kara-”

“Stop,” she cut him off with a raised hand and a shake of her head. “Don't say it. You have nothing to apologise for.”

“But you were upset,” he protested.

Another shake of the head. “It's just...” She lowered her gaze again as she drew a deep breath and let it out in one gusty sigh. “Sometimes I forget how different our cultures are so I think I should be the one to apologise this time.”

“How about neither of us apologise?” he offered quickly. “I mean, it was just a cultural misunderstanding and we talked it out before it could escalate in any way so... um, yeah.”

She smiled at that, soft and full of warm affection, and he found himself mirroring it before he was even aware that the knot in his chest had loosened at the sight. “All right. No apologies then.”

“No apologies.” Having successfully avoided a potentially thorny situation, he allowed curiosity to get the better of him and asked the next question that popped into his head. “I'm guessing it's not something that's done on Earth either?”

The way she turned away from him and the troubled crease of her brow gave him fair warning that he was not going to like what she said next. “Human males tend to... boast about things like who they sleep with and their number of... conquests.”

Just hearing the word being used in that context was enough to make him both angry and ill. “Is there no end to their barbarism?”

She shrugged, but he knew it was a sign that she had no desire to pursue the subject any further and let the matter go.

To his surprise, she spoke up again before he could figure out a new topic of discussion.

“While we're on the subject...”

“Hmm?”

“Can we...” she faltered as she reached out for his hand and subconsciously began playing with his fingers as the golden light that had tentatively slipped into his head radiated nervousness. “Um... Can we just keep this quiet after you arrive on Earth? Us, I mean.”

This time, it was his turn to feel a pinprick of confused hurt. “What- You... You don't want people to know about us?” Was she... Was she ashamed about him? About them?

Her head snapped up, her expression one of alarm as she seemingly realised what he was thinking. “No, no, I _do_!” she insisted as she gripped his hand tightly and the golden light began pulsing wave after wave of reassurance, willing him to understand. “It's just...” Her gaze dropped down to land on their intertwined hands as her nervousness once again became apparent through both her demeanour and the golden light. “Just at the start while I get everyone to accept you as yourself first. I haven't really figured out how to tell them about all this-” she gestured around them to indicate the dream world, “-or even if I _want_ them to know about this but I definitely want them to eventually know and accept us being... you know, together. I mean... As far as everyone in my life but Eve is concerned, I've never shown any interest in anyone so... I don't want them watching and commenting on it – on _us_ – and further complicating our already complicated situation when they start potentially picking up on... you know, us... before I'm- before _we're_ ready.”

Oh. “I understand,” he said with a soft smile. That made a lot of sense and he almost felt guilty for not realising it sooner.

“Although...” She cleared her throat as a blush dusted her cheeks. “I'd like some parts to remain just between us even after that, i-if that's okay with you.”

“Some parts?” he echoed, careful to keep his voice neutral as he was unsure what she was referring to and unwilling to guess.

Her blush darkened as she glanced up at him shyly. “Th-The... um... s-specifics of us... y-you know... m-mating.”

The urge to grin however slightly was overwhelming but he tamped it down. In hindsight, he should have expected nothing less considering how skittish she was when it came to talking about this aspect of their relationship (although she was amusingly not at all hesitant when it came to _engaging_ in said activities). “All right.”

“And...” Her gaze turned meaningful and the golden light weaved itself tightly around his thoughts. “Other things.”

He didn't need further elaboration. “Understood.” He squeezed her hand reassuringly and wound his thoughts around hers in a perfect mirror of her earlier actions. “I'd like to keep that just between us too.”

A gusty sigh of relief escaped her. “Thank you.” Then she seemed to realise something and looked at him with a mixture of embarrassment and pride. “An unparalleled honour, you said?”

“Kara, believe me when I say this with the utmost sincerity and mean it in the best way possible,” he said with a wry grin, “but the daughters of the noble houses would have loathed you with every fibre of their shallow, self-absorbed beings if you had been present in the royal court back then and I had arranged that parade for you.”

Just as he had hoped, his clarification caused her to beam at him and the golden light to begin radiating quiet happiness. “Is that so?”

His grin widened. “Of course. You know I would never lie to you.”

“Oh.” Impossibly, her smile widened and the golden light glowed that much brighter. “I'm glad we had this talk.”

“So am I.” He smiled warmly at her and squeezed her hand again.

She giggled – a very good sign – and all but tackled him to give him a proper hug this time which he was all too happy to reciprocate.

For a long while, they just stayed like that before a thought occurred to him and a mischievous grin tugged at the corners of his lips. “Kara?”

“Hmm?” came the contented and oblivious response.

“You _do_ realise that there's nothing stopping Eve from trying to pry more information out of you in the future, right?” he asked her in as innocent a voice as he could muster.

The way she pulled back and stared at him in horrified dismay was the last straw, and even the pillow she smacked him in the face with was not enough to stop his uproarious laughter.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you all enjoyed that little detour. Next, Chapter 19 of A Tourist in the Waking World!


End file.
